“A lady never shows her soul outside the boudoir”
Shonda Rhimes; Year of Yes: How to Dance it Out, Stand In The Sun And Be Your Own Person.
In a social media, saturated world how does one maintain their desired level of privacy? Naturally I am a very private individual and with that being said, even those closest to me do not know everything that goes on in my life. That’s just me though and those around me have become accustomed to my ways. As you grow older you realise that having best friend status does not automatically entitle you to have the key to their box of hidden treasures or the access code to their mind. Everyone has the right to disclose or not disclose things pertaining to their lives.
I used to enter into conflict with friends when I was younger because, to most I appeared to be secretive or selective with who I discussed certain matters with. Fortunately for me there are some aspects (the positive ones) of my personality that have not changed. I stand by my right to have the choice to speak or not to speak. With that being said, I pick my confidants with wisdom. The few that I do confide in, have gained my trust and proven themselves to be as loyal as a naturally flawed human being can be. Timing is everything and I am unlikely to confide in someone whilst I’m in the midst of the storm unless I’m at breaking point (be wise enough to know when you need the help of a friend).
The World NEEDS To Know…
I used to be that girl that would update her BBM status and change her display picture to a black screen, to reflect my mood (the thought of this makes me cringe right now). Over time I realised that doing these things made me look quite unstable and if I’m honest like an attention seeker. Therefore, I ceased to do so. We all like putting up cryptic statuses to keep our friends guessing about what were doing in life, but is this really necessary?
The rise in the use of social media means that people aren’t able to keep their lives as private as they would wish, but is this really the case? Social media is controlled by how we as the consumer use it. I can’t remember the last time I updated my status on Facebook or WhatsApp, why? Because I simply do not have anything to share and if I do then I will speak to the relevant people to update them, personally. My pictures… well for someone who quite likes the camera, I don’t share that many pictures anymore.
Know What Your Limits Are
What is off limits for your social media profile?
Well for me, my relationship status is definitely off limits and has been ever since my break up in 2011. Some things are just meant to be private. I don’t need my relationship to become anyone’s #RelationshipGoals, seriously that is a lot of unwanted pressure. Your relationship should be your favourite love story, with the intricate details being only shared between Three (You, Him and God).
My Location…
Listen, I like watching psychological thrillers and shows like Stalker and Criminal Minds… so I’m sorry I will not be “Checking In” on Facebook anytime soon.
Keep Some Things To Yourself
Do your friends need to know every little bit of information about you? Is it necessary?
Does the world need to know how you like to be satisfied in bed? In fact do your friends really need to know that?
Whilst it is good to share good news and updates with those you trust, I would advise you not to do so prematurely.
Do you realise that even your YouTube favourites, only share what they don’t mind you knowing? You may think you know everything about them but trust me you most likely don’t. There are those who seem to share every little bit of their lives online but I for one don’t keep up, why? Because I have other things to be doing with my time, like figuring out how I’m going to become a Prosperous Young Lady, who is going to impact her generation. There is more to life than constantly observing the lives of others.
You control the messages and information about yourself that the world has access to, what message do you wish to convey?
Ms Tomilola 