On the 31st December 2015, I sat in church contemplating all the wrong decisions I had made in 2015 and honestly all I felt was sadness. Whilst I was grateful (to some degree), I did not feel that I had progressed and mastered certain areas of life as well as I should have. I was told that in 2016 nothing, absolutely nothing should disturb my peace. My joy should no longer depend on the external factors around me, it was time to work on my inner peace. 2016 would be the year that I would no longer say what I could physically see but I would speak about what I seek. It was time to master the art of speaking victory and not defeat.
I declared that 2016 would be my year of “Ayomide” which means my joy has come. I didn’t quite know what this would manifest into but I was hopeful that 2016 would be different. As I sit here and reflect on the past 12 months all I can do is look back and smile. To the glory of God, this year I have held my peace and that is how I would summarise my year. This is the year that I stopped pushing against the wave and finally surrendered.
I smile as I flick through my journal, I thank God for change! On the 1st January 2015, I wrote about having a conversation with someone, who told me that I judge my success of the year by my romantic endeavours! Two years later, against the advice of my mind I have finally opened myself up to love again. I have begun to prepare my heart in anticipation and ultimately my heart has finally begun to thaw.
This year I quickly realised that to whom much is given much is required. There were days and nights that I felt so overwhelmed and just wanted to give up. But God had other ideas, he keeps opening doors for me in my place of work and future business endeavours, that I know will elevate me to becoming self-employed. It’s one thing to dream big and it’s another, to prepare yourself for that dream. Whatever the season, be thankful and remain diligent in completing all that is required of you to a standard of excellence.
Being the flawed individual that I am, means I am prone to make mistakes. Which reminds me as to why I made a conscious decision a few years ago, to remain silent and no longer engage in senseless arguments. Annoyingly, I lost my cool not so long ago and to say I was disappointed in myself would have been an understatement. However, I quickly listened to that still small voice who told me to apologise and Let It Go. Which I did swiftly (who ever thought that I could be so obedient). Naturally I kept replaying what had happened and (for my sanity) I had to accept that one wrong move does not define who I am, so I breathed and really, “Let It Go”.
I’m happy to say that there have been occasions this year, where I put my pride aside and followed the prompting of my spirit to reach out and engage with those whom I deliberately prevented access to my life. It was not an easy task but what a revelation, obedience is so important! God didn’t ask me to reach out to certain individuals so that we can rekindle the relationship, rather he asked me to do so to see if I was willing to listen and trust him. What a way to push me out of my comfort zone.
Wherever God leads you, you will not be put to shame!
Overall 2016 has been a year filled with peace, love and laughter. There have been incidences of annoyance, hurt and anger, nonetheless I have refused for those negative emotions affect my focus. I’m grateful for those who have stuck by me in my imperfection, those who have honestly loved me not for what I can provide but for who I am. I will continue to not run ahead of God but I will rest in him and wait patiently.
Below are a few lessons which I learnt this year:
- Forgiveness has nothing to do with the other person, accept the apology you never received and clear your life of negative feelings.
- Life moves on and the rate in which we chose to live our lives is not synonymous.
- Run your own race.
- Excellence requires diligence, it is imperative that you spend time perfecting your art.
- Not everyone will support your dreams and that is ok. Ignore the silent doubters and the naysayers and keep pushing towards the goal.
- Your potential is locked in your ability to see beyond your current circumstances.
- Being a blessing to others is priceless, sow into the lives of those around you.
- To whom much is give, much is required. Promotion requires sacrifice.
- Invest in yourself.
- Continue to put YOU first, you are permitted to say NO.
As we cross over into 2017 and I reminded that I will endure in my current season.
I will be IN my moment.
I will know what to do at the right time and I will be content.
Happy New Year