As a Christian woman I look at women in ministry with admiration. Last weekend Glowreeyah Braimah came to minister at my church and to say I was moved was an understatement. I look at women of faith such as Sarah Jakes Roberts, Heather Lindsey and Glowreeyah and I see Strength and Grace. During the church service, I pondered on when I will feel as though I had transformed into the woman that I pray to become. The feelings of inferiority that I would not like to admit I have, arose and was staring me right in the face. Could it be that I am actually not as confident in my story as I had thought I was?

Confident woman where art thou?

Let me explain further, when I refer to a confident woman, I am not referring to superficial confidence that stems from our outer beauty. I am referring to emotional stability that comes from knowing who you are and how far you’ve travelled. I’m learning to celebrate my strengths, albeit not necessarily publicly. Nevertheless, I look at these different women in ministry and want to be just like them. Why you ask, well they are so unapologetic about their journey’s on how they became the women they are today. Not only are they unapologetic but they stand tall with their heads held high and testify about where they used to be. Our confidence can’t emerge in its entirety if shame is still present.

Why do we find it so difficult to find pride in our identities that include our scars? We live in a world whereby we would rather sweep our flaws and mistakes under the carpet and pray that people don’t uncover our dirty secrets. We have to refuse to be a victim of our histories, let us own the detours of our lives because our experiences contribute to our individuality.

So I ask you, what do you think about yourself?

What do you believe to be true?

Who we are and our identities are crucial to our ability and capacity to overcome and become the confident women whom we admire. Our confidence affects our self-image and what I had forgotten is that in actual fact our self-image is multi-facet. Our self-image is more than our ability to apply make-up correctly or walk elegantly in Louboutin’s. So how do we cultivate our inner being to increase our confidence? We must work on being bold in all areas of our lives, inferiority is not who we are. Feed your eyes and mind with positivity, I for one ensure that I follow people whom I admire on all of my social media sites and keep the “entertainment” aspect at a bare minimum. Why? because what good is it going to do me to be so engrossed in those who portray lifestyles that I do not aspire to live?

I hope you surround yourself with people who celebrate you and your achievements. Whilst this is a conducive atmosphere for a confident woman YOUR mindset takes precedence over the opinions that surround you. Set your mind to the fact that yes you may in actual fact not be doing enough (we can always do more) but you are moving forward and for that I celebrate you. Be Proud, Be Bold, Be Courageous! So what if in the eyes of your friends and family you haven’t quite made it yet, without trying to be rude, who really cares?!  What God says about you is far more important than the meagre opinions of man. Stand tall and be a forward thinker, philosopher Soren Kierkegaard once said “life can only be understood backward, but it must be lived forward”. Remembering what is behind you is ok from time to time but moving toward your destiny is far more important. In the knowledgeable words of William James “the art of being wise is knowing what to overlook”.

So I ask you who is this confident woman?

Is she a woman exempt from flaws?

No she’s the woman who continues to hold her head high in the midst of her mistakes. She walks forward cultivating her mind, body and soul to become a woman that she will be proud to look at in the mirror daily.

Don’t be afraid to look at the person staring back at you and realise that The Confident Woman is YOU! 

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” – Joshua 1:9 ESV

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Ms Tomilola

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